Fat Tuesday & TV Updates

I would talk about parenting today, but if I am honest I have not liked being  a Mommy today and I feel that it is blasphemy for me to feel anything other than delighted with being a parent being that I struggled with and still struggle with inferility.  This is the catch 22 of being a parent after infertility.  No matter what you do, not all days are going to be great days...no matter how much you hope and pray that they are.  I'll keep his section short today and say only that...the child that I am carrying will be the last that I carry.  I hope and pray that I make it to delivery, but I am a miserable bitch of a pregnant woman...and that's all I've got for today on that topic.

Today is Fat Tuesday! I'm not Catholic nor am I a coonass, but I do still like to overeat so Fat Tuesday applies to me, today is a day of indulgance and tomorrow I'll is the day of promise where I will fool myself into thinking that I can give up on carbs or cokes or whatever I decide to give up this particular year.  It is probably not wise to think that I can do anything being pregnant because at this point I am totally eating for comfort. I am also eating because it is the only thing I can control right now.  Let's face it there is not way to control anything a 6.5mo old does...I feel as if I am completely out of control in all facets of my life currently.  Bad day anyone?

TV Update time!

Monday night TV was pretty good there were three shows in particular that I was interested in ...those being

1. The Bachelor
2. The Voice
3. Smash

I'm going to start with The Voice because it simply does not require a lot of review at this point.  The show was decent, there is was not one singer that I truly remember from last night, but the talent that was selected was decent.  Also all of the teams appear to be full or nearly full at this point. Ceelo pushes his button for almost everything and everyone which means he has a lot of fat to trim when the time comes and the banter between the judges was entertaining as always.  I look forward to the next two weeks on this show and of all the music shows I currently watch, which is all three of the big ones AI, Xfactor included) The Voice is among my favorite.

The Bachelor...oh Ben, Ben, Ben..some girls may be made at you and some fans of the show may hate you for cutting Kasie B loose last night.  I on the other hand, think you do did something very admirable and that you honored her father's wishes which was very kind and sweet of you.  You were told in a conversation with Kasie's father that if you were not going to choose Kasie and were not sure about her that you should let her go and that is exactly what you did.  I have to say that it looked as if your heart broke a little when you cut her loose too and for that I think you are exactly the type of man that I thought you were from the start.  A man of integrity.  However, I still hold that you need to dump Courtney and get a haircut and or a stylist.....your look needs some assistance.  Your best bet, if you are reading this or if anyone else is reading this that can help you is Lindzi at this point. Nikki is also sweet, and a Texas girl like myself, but she will not be the long term happiness you seem to desire and Courtney is a chilly bitch at best and I think she might suffer from a personality disorder based on the fact that she is distant even with her own family.


On to Smash..first of all the name of this show gets me because I am a huge Big Brother fan and I believe that Lane referred to "smashing" as taking a shit, so for me this is definitely cause for a chuckle when I hear the name.  As for the show itself, it is enjoyable complete with characters you want to throttle-which makes for great TV.  I despise Ellis and his fresh face and perfect smile.  While I have yet to figure out his true motives he is a sneaky biotch and needs to be choked within an inch of his life.  I do not know why he hates Julia so much but for whatever reason he wants to bury her and I am pretty sure it will be his undoing in the end.  Karen continues to be a sweet and likable character and I have grown to have some compassion for Ivy as well.  She seems to now be wondering if she got the part because she slept with the director and I believe that is part of the reason, she can sing but....I am sure it did not hurt her case any.  This week proved to be extra dramatic as a new character came into the show who has been cast as Joe DiMaggio and it turns out...(hold your breathe) he had an affair with Julia in the past and they appear to be thinking about doing the mattress mambo again in the near future and....drum roll please..Ellis the rat overheard Julia telling Tom!  Oh the drama! Queue the excitement for next week.  I look forward to seeing how this unfolds.

Time Marches On...

After being in a baby drought for fourteen years it is hard to believe that I have a baby. It is also hard to believe that time marches on as quickly as it does. Never did I notice how fast time really went by until I had my boy. Now, you must keep in mind this is a teacher saying this and we all know that as a teacher you are day to day and lesson plan to the next. You count on your holidays and try to push and guide your students to the end of the year with a full caliber of education.

Thus, time has always gone by very fast for this lady. I counted it by vacation or benchmark exam. First day of school, Thanksgiving Break, Christmas Break, Spring Break...finals..Summer! Or, something very close to that; it used to seem as if one hundred and eighty days went by at lightning speed. Well, the school year blasting by is nothing like having a baby and watching him grow and change every day. Sometimes I want to get up in the middle of the night and crawl in his crib with him to try and preserve those precious moments. I want to hold him forever, because I do not know if I will get a chance to hold another baby of mine. Is that depressing or what!

I feel badly that I asked for advice from so many other Mommies when in truth they do not know how to parent my child and so many of them were fertile. I think infertile women treat their children differently. Do we spoil them more? (side note o holy night is breaking my heart right now) I think I might spoil him more. I remember thinking that if I had to put him in the bed with my husband and I at night I would not care because he is my boy and may be my only. I remember thinking he could sleep in his pack and play in our room until he was thirty-six if he needed to.

I love my guy so much it should be against the law. I cherish ever giggle, full on laugh, grunt, poop, smile, frown, scream, and even tear. He is a gift from God and I wish I could halt time and hold him longer. I pray nightly that God will allow us the privilege of having more children, but I usually fall asleep in the middle of prayer because I am so exhausted.