Time Marches On...

After being in a baby drought for fourteen years it is hard to believe that I have a baby. It is also hard to believe that time marches on as quickly as it does. Never did I notice how fast time really went by until I had my boy. Now, you must keep in mind this is a teacher saying this and we all know that as a teacher you are day to day and lesson plan to the next. You count on your holidays and try to push and guide your students to the end of the year with a full caliber of education.

Thus, time has always gone by very fast for this lady. I counted it by vacation or benchmark exam. First day of school, Thanksgiving Break, Christmas Break, Spring Break...finals..Summer! Or, something very close to that; it used to seem as if one hundred and eighty days went by at lightning speed. Well, the school year blasting by is nothing like having a baby and watching him grow and change every day. Sometimes I want to get up in the middle of the night and crawl in his crib with him to try and preserve those precious moments. I want to hold him forever, because I do not know if I will get a chance to hold another baby of mine. Is that depressing or what!

I feel badly that I asked for advice from so many other Mommies when in truth they do not know how to parent my child and so many of them were fertile. I think infertile women treat their children differently. Do we spoil them more? (side note o holy night is breaking my heart right now) I think I might spoil him more. I remember thinking that if I had to put him in the bed with my husband and I at night I would not care because he is my boy and may be my only. I remember thinking he could sleep in his pack and play in our room until he was thirty-six if he needed to.

I love my guy so much it should be against the law. I cherish ever giggle, full on laugh, grunt, poop, smile, frown, scream, and even tear. He is a gift from God and I wish I could halt time and hold him longer. I pray nightly that God will allow us the privilege of having more children, but I usually fall asleep in the middle of prayer because I am so exhausted.