It is almost impossible to find the right mixture of these issues to blog about and I am conflicted because I do not know if I want to put myself out there because I have never been forthcoming with my husband's nor my family (sans my sister and *hairdresser) about my infertility. I just never could fit it into a conversation. I was and still am so afraid that I will fail that I do not know anyone to see my struggle. I do not know why this would be such a problem for me though, it's not like anyone thinks I'm perfect. I mean let's be honest...that cat jumped out of the bag many years ago! There is nothing about me that is perfect, flawless, or even a horseshoe throw close to that.
So why the act? Okay, I have been trying to do the whole "fake it til you make it" with this blog. Basically, I have continued to update almost daily and thought about back logging posts. I have also tried to update and keep it light, but informative. Now what I never did was attach my blog to my Twitter account so my followers could find me, or actually put the widget that allows followers to follow me because I was too afraid that I would have no followers and I did not want to stare at the (0) followers on my page.
I understand why the infertile community would not want to follow me though. After all, I have been successful that is a jagged pill to swallow. Now, here I am again in another two week wait, and what happens if I am successful again? It would just piss off more people I am sure who would think I am merely secondary infertile-which is not the case.
Damn! I do not know what to do.
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